Grace

2Co 12:7b-10
(7) ...there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
(8) For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
(9) And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
(10) Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

I picked up a book today that I told myself a year and a half ago when given to me that I likely would never touch. The reason...I never, in my pride felt I would ever find myself in a place where I could somehow relate to this particular situation. Over the past year I certainly have eaten a lot of proverbial crow regarding where I never thought I could end up...

As many testimonies of this sort go, one minute, on top of the world - in God's will, zealous, purposed, focused, (as Christ said "if thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light") - the next minute, in a prison of despair. For a year now, the bars have grown thicker, the walls have crept closer, the floor has gotten harder, the air has gotten colder, the darkness has become measurable by thickness as much as by lack of light, gasping, suffocating, the glimmer of hope eradicated over and over.

Many years ago, a preacher screamed a message through the tape deck of my car radio that made me shutter - it was called the cries that nobody heard - suffocation, drowning and isolation are three of the cries that surely are uttered but are never heard. The author of this book had in one day, his family, his ministry, his freedom, his reputation and his hopes and aspirations dashed. Yet he spends but a few moments in the preface of his book dealing with the imprisonment, the despair and the frustration that he faced - moments that literally reflect years of unexpected, unprecedented pain and challenge. He then knelt and acknowledged that anger and frustration that He'd had toward God for allowing him to be put there. He stated that the years of being angry have not helped him one bit.............................

and that he needed grace...and he received grace

I wonder...

I doubt this was his first prayer on the topic

I doubt this was the first time he got on his knees

A man that God had used in many ways since he was a boy - as a witness, as a preacher, as a teacher, as a musician, in mission endeavors, in writing, in manual labor, in service, in giving, in so many ways - this man had been on his knees during this stretch of literal years...

Yet why this moment, why this prayer, why this time did the grace come...

That is my question

When the prayers go up and bounce, when the tears are shed, the pain is real, the loss seems too overwhelming to overcome - when hope and purpose seem only distant memories...what finally brings that embrace of GRACE?

That heartwarming, encouraging overwhelming touch to the heart and soul that allow you to open your eyes, dry the tears, raise to your feet, and take just one more step - one more step that only moments before was impossible were it not for GRACE

To have the release and relief to lift your hands and say "bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless His holy name" - to be transported from under the very hooves of a stampede of horses to the throne room of the almighty...

To sit a the end of the water line when only one canteen is given to a dozen men after a hard, hot day - to anticipate, desire and thirst for even the smallest amount of refreshment...how it is yearned for time and again, and yet often you are left with the bone dry canteen - silently crying through the parched, faint throat - is there none left for me, is there but one drop of grace for me...

Is there one drop of grace for me